CASE NUMBER #012
Covered in the heavy undergrowth within the grounds now known as the DOA Reviews, with your grave-keeper I, Baron, we discovered a rarity, a Blu-ray release from the maestros of low-budget horror The Asylum films, and one of their many apocalyptic films, called 12/12/12. The movie, released 5-years ago this year on December 4th, arrived and disappeared without any biblical or end of the world significant, and this flick adds nothing to remember the date either. First, this movie actually follows 11/11/11 from director (Darren Lynn Bousman) did and one may view this disjointed film without ever have watched part one, as it contains no reference to it. Why would that happen – no reason, accept it and move along. The director herein, Jared Cohn, who’s credits show many other better horror films to his recognition, this one his worst of late, in fact, he recently completed then films The Domicile (2017) and Little Dead Rotting Hood (2016). As opposed to the previous DOA film reviews, this movie presents itself clearly and not many flaws, aside cardboard characters, terrible dialogue, horrendous editing, and overall confusing storyline, otherwise a fine production.
Horror continues to play the apocalyptic card, as do many other genres such as drama and action and face it when people predicted the end of the world with numerology and other issues a lot of gory gruesome can find its way into nightmares, however not with 12/12/12. Nevertheless Cohn combines elements of occultism, Satanism, and just very bizarre elements into a mess of ideas tallying many missed avenues of fright. Quickly one realizes the movie takes from Rosemary’s Baby (1968) and The Omen (1976), and never attempts for a clear path of its own, let alone matching up to the previous movie. Be forewarned, before attempting to view this flick, check to see if either Rosemary’s Baby (2014) the TV-movie available or even the horror-comedy Hell Baby (2013), both find themselves far more stable of a coherent storytelling.
AUTOPSY OF THE FILM:
This movie, actually the middle child, in a trio of flicks it follow 11/11/11 (2011) and yes you guess it 13/13/13 (2013) though a tad tough on that one as there’s no 13th month in case you department of education failed you. In addition, this first movie’s bizarre behavior connects to the Apocalypse and that movie earned 2.6/10 rating while the third installment earned the highest marks of 4.2/10. Therefore, as many overlook the deeds of the middle kid, you can do so regarding this flick.
The movie starts with a mysterious coven about to commit a bloody sacrifice to a well-developed woman open to T&A, and with the plunge of a basic knife switch to a maternity wing of a hospital. Confused already, join the crowd. The woman, Veronica (Sara Malakul Lane (Beyond the Gates ) and father cry out against a C-section citing religious beliefs, though, with all the f-bombs they drop after the birth and lack of religious symbols or of a church connection one can imagine their domination. Anyway, her demon baby successful frees itself from the womb and proceeds to kill a doctor with the umbilical cord and then a nurse, leaving the room in a blood-drenched fiasco.
Switch to home life, and this freakish devil born baby named Sebastian, not a very cute looking baby more on that later, this little monster gets into the parents bed and stimulates his mother orally in the nether region. Talk about bonding with one’s child, though not clearly shown, the verbal and physical cues present the act. The mess contains elements of The Omen (1976), and a dozen other nameless paranormal flicks along with baby-horror. Soon enough, daddy dies by swallowing boiling water, apparent suicide, wanting off the movie, enter Detective Barnes (Steve Hanks) on the case following the quickening body count, assisting him and the storyline Officer Vokel (Samantha Stewart).
Most devil children films allow for build-up suspense and tension and there becomes a rolling body count bloodbath normally beneficial to the horror fans however, with this film it never connects correctly here. This child has makes sure to cure one of insomnia, as it never can hold one’s attention, the dialogue lacks often and Satan’s spawn killing way too much. A prime example of the crazy dialogue from Gabriella (Laura Alexander Ramos) to Veronica: “your baby is a pervert watching me shower” a very dumb line, think of it, a newborn is looking at a steamed-up shower glass, he wouldn’t even understand, besides how screwed up is one’s mind to think that. Meanwhile, the Satanists appear again, never actually making much sense of their failed attempts to acquire the baby. Perhaps they’re angry they missed the baby shower?
CAUSES OF DEATH:
The actions of strange editing cuts and odd plot lines, tissue paper thin structure eventually dooms the entire production, rather than a straightforward narrative, it slowly dissolves into random killings. While the special effects work, basic in design and thankfully not overwhelming CGI, the characters all go through the motions, never truly believable, no strong connections to the parent’s religion.
SUMMARY FROM INVESTIGATOR:
While the overall packaging of The Asylum’s Blu-ray delivers nicely, the film itself feels as if set pieces placed cheaply and left for weakened characters to walk aimlessly about criticizing the looks of a newborn baby. The baby, Sebastian, never reaches the point of care from the audience, and for that no one else of interest either leaving the audience able to champion for any of them. Honestly, the blender style dicing of the editing and scene connections loses everyone, seeking lesser-known prophecy rebirths watch Omen IV: The Awakening (1991).
This review originally posted on The Horror Syndicate, earning 214 views, in the month of April 2017.
IMDb Rating: 1.8/10
DOA Rating: 1.8/10
The availability of the film is usually located through third-parties, so good luck in case you sought another coaster, or needed something for skeet shooting then look here: https://www.amazon.com/12-Blu-ray-Lane/dp/B009ANP4S6/