DOA CASE NUMBER #105
Once again, the adventure into the land of DOA commences, this time the unearthing of what some called one of the ‘worst films ever made’ a phrase often tossed about with a basis for it. Some consider the Tom Cruise flick The Mummy the worst ever too, it’s not even close to it, perhaps, but face that movie contains a lot of problems and all for another review. Therefore, let’s pear into the murky darkness over a film that, likely should never have been made, let alone seen by anyone, except this reviewer, who sacrifices his eyes and mind. Where to start with the weirdness, first the people responsible for the abomination, according to IMDb the director listed as R. G. Arledge with is only film credit, however the film credit states Rick Montana directed it and starred in it as Dr. David Stone, while Arledge giving writing and producing credit. Hence, less than a minute into the film already identity confusion but wait there’s more. This flick, all shot on video, not without numerous technical glitches and the goofiest storytelling. As for the availability of the film, well that’s tough, Search for the Beast can only be purchased as part of a four-film set entitled Bigfoot Terror, and at one time distributing from Something Weird Video on VHS in 1999 and in 2006 released by Retromedia Entertainment. The actual film attempts to create the feel of a 1970’s drive-in like exploitation and sexploitation markets in that era, in fact with flick stars a film legend of many of these types of films David F. Friedman as Milton.
AUTOPSY OF THE FILM
Trying to determine what the actual plot of this hideous film, well it involves a Bigfoot tale, and boundless implied sex scenes as well as horrible acting, if fact an adult movie likely contains better acting. Therefore, the story tries to follow Dr. David Stone, a scientist who seeks to discover the legends of Okaloosa wilderness, while Milton St. John wants to fund an expedition to look for a monster who likely killed many campers. The film plays as a fake documentary with the dear doctor serving also as a narrator and then switches to a normal movie, though it doesn’t help at all, actually nothing helps. Stone only wants to prove the existence and not capture the beast, but brings along his graduate assistant, Wendy (Holli Day), though beforehand they watch awful grainy footage. Shortly afterwards they, along with four others (Dan, Jay, Bob, and Darlene) none of them listed in the credits leave in a van and later hike to a campsite without much gear (fret not presto – the camp appears). Then it’s time for strange monster tale stories – oh scary – meanwhile Stone continues to narrate the scene as he and Wendy shack up in a huge tent.
Many random, disjointed, and out of focus scenes occur such as scaling a 4-foot hillside to make it look a cliff, laughable, even Milton sends in hillbillies to track down Stone and capture the Bigfoot creature. Ahh alas, six or so mountain men swept off the script and never to appear in the credits along with Dan, Darlene, and Jay, the beast maybe got the munchies, no one knows, and the dialog often muddle and wouldn’t help anyways. Though one should know to place this goofy creature took Richard Arledge and Ronnie Hodge (along absent from IMDb credits) to play this character. It even becomes a hinted possibility that the creature born from toxic wastes dumping, but previously told it existed for centuries, again dismiss the logic. We even have Bigfoot killing drivers in vans, and people sniffing others clothing saying, “yeah that’s her smell”, and one of hillbillies loves playing his mandolin not the standard banjo.
Now there’s one scene I need to mention, a jump cut occurs, and you have a youngish couple setting up camp, a man and woman who are credited on film as Stupid D. Klown and Tweetie who engage in a simulated sex scene of her dressed in the (proper camping clothing) knee-high stockings, red mini-skirt and halter. Suddenly Bigfoot appears shoving the guy out of the way, turns rapist and works her over doggy-style and she’s none the wiser, making panting sounds trying not to laugh. WTF!!!
The scene fades to black, while the girl moans with pleasure. A final tag-on scene involves some guy (don’t who it is) and Bigfoot taking turns, with a laughing, giggling and smiling captive young woman, who’s topless, and bound overhead.
CAUSES OF DEATH
I tried to review the film more as an exploitation picture, however it never made its way there the sound, lighting for poor along with incomplete storytelling, total failure of dialogue and framing issues abound endless. Then add in the inconsistent credit issues, from both IMDb and on the film itself, absent or missing names, all show the shoddy production plan from pre to post. This accompanied by the dreadful nudity and disgusting representation of Bigfoot’s rape scene, sadly seen something similar in next month’s DOA review: Bigfoot Horror Camp. One can’t over look the special effects, none truly appear, or work correct the costume if the beasts shows the zipper often and he appears to walk just like a human but in a weird jump cut motion (someone couldn’t run in the outfit).
SUMMARY FROM INVESTIGATOR:
Cryptozoology flicks always have a special place in the horror genre, and Bigfoot lately getting a fair dosage of films, and specials on the hunt of beast. However, this leaves wretched nightmares, and not in a good way, rather cheap, ineffective, non-exploitative, and most of the time confusing what occurring on the screen with numerous jumps clearly unable to transition between the scenes. Needless to say, this flick needs to stay buried (12-feet down), in best an unmarked grave.
IMDb Rating: 1.7/10
Baron’s Rating: 1.5/10
Thanks To the Film Gods There Is No Trailer!!!