I do enjoy environmental or nature attacks horror films as they can inflict more damage than one is accustomed to and there are few ways to combat it. There are some legendary films in the category The Birds [1963] or Jaws [1975] and plenty of fillers such as Grizzly [1976], Dogs [1976], Day of the Animals [1977], and Alligator [1980], however this latest entry while it does fit into the group, it’s more of a wounded critter yet thrives slightly off sub-genre of b-movies. When it comes to the species of Alligators and Crocodiles, they are truly creations of nightmares, echoing back to dinosaurs, as they and sharks have not really changed through the millions of years of existence. Therefore, we shall start our journey, not by rehashing this niche in horror but by another and rarer display found in the titling. Curious?
Your CGI Star…
Director Paul W. Franklin was already up against hungry competition, he made the film with the assistance of plenty of CGI with one curious note that some b-movies include a rather unique tidbit, and it’s in the form of “exclamation mark ‘!’” this mark while not new to film titles in horror is interesting to the history of the horror genre. One of the first movies to use it was Gordon Douglas’ Them! [1954] as well as Roy Ward Baker’s And Now the Screaming Starts! [1973] and recently another amazing flick Crabs! [2021]; though to be fair at least two other movies incorporate it into the titles It! The Terror from Beyond Space [1958] and Beware! The Blob [1972]. If just for this sole reason the movie will have a lasting asterisk.
Fake Looking Guts … huh?
This b-movie actually contains a bit of z-grade cerebral mindset to which I later note, now onto the story of what there is. We have a loving couple camping before their encounter with, guess it, the croc, in the first 5-half minutes all before the smallest and dullest opening followed by a nice wide ariel shot of the country estate called Cedar Manor located in Hampshire to serve as the backdrop for a wedding party, that translates to a feeding frenzy. The father of the bride graces the screen first, Dylan (Mark Haldor (Torture [2021])) who presents a can-do attitude and an anti-poacher, a former ranger, completes with the hint of always being late, who shares about losing his wife with a wedding estate planner. Seriously, that line switches us into the adult scene at the 7.21 mark, as if it’s that the normal thought process, seek a place for your daughter’s wedding and screw the planner in the hot tub – your brains aren’t needed for this film. Um ok, during the scene the phone rings it’s his daughter, Lisa (Sian Altman (Wolf Garden [2023])) and actually says “it’s a great venue, they are very accommodating,” sounds like something out of a pornographic film. Anyway, transition six months later and the bride-to-be and entourage of bridesmaids arrive shortly afterwards followed by then men well the groom and best man, Charlie (George Nettleton) and Ben (Stephen Staley). During the pre-wedding part dear old dad has begun to flirt with the ladies namely Vanessa, by the end Charlie is having a fling with bridesmaid Georgie (Beatrice Fletcher), with more questionable dialogue that gear to an adult flick than horror. Soon the crocodile upset that no wedding invite begins chomping on the bridal party and guests cause havoc fully to display on an ultra-low budget. Besides all the inane dialogue another series that occurs is between Charlie and Reverend Jackson (Chris Cordell) on the topic of theology and evil, a wonderful moment, while many stand around with non-bleeding croc bites. Yeah, I know – huh? There isn’t any understanding of how or why the croc is living there, they are too busy falling down and laying there to be eaten, with some of the weakest pleas for help.
No Bite Marks – Oops
As one can tell the z-grade dialogue really pulls the film downhill, for example, the Reverend stands & says “the croc is having a bad day,” but the second lies in the effects, blood is fake looking, that no one took a lesson from special effect gurus on how to make look proper on camera. The scenes of organs falling out of the body appear as a pile of latex plopped on the person, instead of the intestines being slippery and oozing outward, with a richness on the screens. In addition, the color ratio is a tad off, at times a little washed-out, as if trying to help thew effects department. On annoying aspect is the floppy tongue of the beasts, crocodiles have a membrane that holds their tongue in place impossible for them to stick it outside of their narrow mouths.
CHOMP …. No blood!
An important note concerning the artwork, when I first saw it was reminiscent I thought of the position of shark in so many versions in a similar open mouth gagging at its intended target and then it hit me, it was Rogue [2007] look below for the comparison.
Simply avoid this movie and look for other crocodile terrorizing movies such as Lake Placid [1999] or Black Water [2007] these will be far more enjoyable. I know it seems as if I am giving an incomplete or lacking full review, but there is not much of a plot, in fact the original title was called Crocodile Vengeance, which sounds like a take-off of Jaws: The Revenge [1987]. Oh, one should mention that when the film was released via the net, in October 2022 the rating was an astounding 7.2 now it resides at a more situated 2.6, but received distribution from Uncork’d Entertainment whose company logo was more impressive than the film’s opening credits. Although one redeeming quality is the location which was Pekes Manor in Sussex, which is a common wedding venue, but likely without the crocs: plenty of wonderful locations on the map below.
TAGLINE: It’s a Nice Day for a Bite Wedding.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14045614/
IMDb Rating: 2.6/10
Baron’s Rating: 2.5/10