During the Happy Holiday season there’s a very fun, and yet twisted subgenre of films known as Christmas Horror, sometimes they’re straightforward slashing merrily and then a few incorporate some laughter, but always either cheer or groans for the presents delivered this time of the year. Clearly every horror fan as their favorites my two feature favorites Black Christmas  and Silent Night, Deadly Night  while others point to the insanely funny National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation as their holiday favorite, and others strive for the more forgotten Silent Night, Bloody Night . This brings us to David Steiman, who wrote and directed this comedic-horror film, however fair warning, humor is a bit shaky, someone must have reminded him of the outrage surrounding ‘Santa’ as with a simple rearranging of the letters it becomes ‘Satan’ (oh scary). The one thing which might interest many fans is the high body count tallying over thirty, that includes some cameos of noteworthy actors.
The conceptual plot of Santa’s Slay, is that Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg), is the immaculate son of Satan, born natural from a woman, hence on Christmas Day was a murderous individual that was true up to the year 1005, when he lost a bet to an angel during a curling game. He was required to behave himself, and reward goodness for 1000-years; however, it’s now 2005 and the term has expired, and he’s making up for lost time, with absolute mayhem, chaos, and murderous lust. This is all told through an incredible strange backstory, clearly unpacking a lot of turmoil. Hence it starts with a holiday dinner, at the Mason home featuring appearances from James Caan, Fran Drescher, Rebecca Gayheart, and others often linked with the sentiment of loving while folks think about jabbing knives into another family member’s throat. It’s likely after this opening you’ll want to stick around for more, if you’re still unsure then read on, and perhaps by the end you’ll have made your choice. Basically, if you think of some object associated with the Christmas holiday then it’s incorporated in the usage of murdering and slaying happily on a sleigh ride. This all occurs while a very annoying young fellow Nicolas Yuleson (Douglas Smith (Ouija )) and his love interest Mac (Emilie de Ravin (The Hills Have Eyes )), along with some help from his grandpa (Robert Culp) work on rescuing the holiday and return everything to a normal bliss. Bill delivers plenty of one-liners however he lacks the ability to make them seem comical and resulting a flatline while his physical presence is impressive it simply lacks any true depth of character. A sidekick of an evil elf or a sexualized Mrs. Claus, could have aided in the twisted humor. If you are wondering if there’s anything redeeming, well yes, sheer violence, there’s the ability to find all the horror cliches, and typical T&A though, for such a ruthless killer Satan Santa he avoids killing many children. Including the bratty ones. Lastly, two more spoiler cameos to mention first Mr. Green (Saul Rubinek (Death Ship )) who meets his end in a thoroughly nasty manner and Pastor Timmons (Dave Thomas) the typical hypocrite found hanging out in a strip club.
First, one big UGH, there was potential at times, however, the silly plot squanders most of it early on, and follows the bad with worse awful dialogue, delivery of poor humorless comedy. Many of the cameo appearances become wasted opportunities, all leading to failures, whereas the parody of using elements from other Christmas movies piled into one movie might have saved this fiasco. While the cinematography does the best to capture the scenic views, it sadly captures lameness in the scenes, unsullied payoffs, and poor setups.
Luckily, the movie is a brisk 78-minutes, leaving a trail of groans in its wake, the filmmakers left so much unexplored in the script, not one joke at the expansive Hallmark saturation of the holiday market. The brief humor from the Mason family opening scene can open so much, to uplift the spirits, sadly the rest of film, makes for a one-time viewing and not part of most Christmas horror watching, there’s a lot of great gifts to unwrap and enjoy Rathan the coal it leaves, the only plus are so the creative kill sequences.
- He’s making a list… pray you’re not on it.
- Spreading holiday fear this Christmas.
IMDb Rating: 5.4/10
Baron’s Rating: 4.5/10