CASE NUMBER: #108

Once more, venture down the overgrown path into the land of DOA, where wretched discoveries await, the movies so dreadful that even the rescue squads couldn’t aid in recovery. This month’s its Platoon of the Dead written and directed by John Bowker (the last movie he directed) , a low-budget zombie film, which forgot to include a horde of the undead, and many soldiers too. Just so everyone is on the same page, a platoon contains on average of 30, in World War II it ranged from 16 to 50. Many horror fans know of the zombie flicks that contains the military versus the undead, it’s a bit of a subgenre inside the zombie culture. In fact, there are approximately 55-titles in the horror genre based on the theme of Military and Zombies, such as World War Z (2013), 28 Days Later (2002), Apocalypse Z (2013), Resident Evil (2002), and Zombie Dawn (2011), hence one gets the point that there’s lots to choose from to starve your hunger pains.  However, this goes further downward with a mess of terrible CGI and practical effects as well as dreadful props, mismatching soldiers, a few puzzling survivors, fret not this feature was produced and released by Tempe Entertainment.

AUTOPSY OF THE FILM:

The plot, if one could call it that gets weird quickly, a United States Marine platoon (about 43 personnel) not in or on the screen ambushed during a mission and was/is/or supposed to fend off and kill a swarming mass of zombies. The remainder of troops don’t act as soldiers, nor represent them in appearance, lacking any gear, the only one who gets to any combination of military characters comes from Sergeant Butler which is Tom Stedham (HazMat (2013)), who often portrays roles of authoritarian characters.   The group finds a house, and three women along with goofy looking undead, even a flashback sequence about a new bride venturing off into the woods to find on the undead while groom and family party, um okay. This all accompanied by misaligned plot lines and terrible dialogue, aided by wooded acting skills and just confusing, uninteresting and even remotely entertaining.

CAUSES OF DEATH:

A problem for many military theme zombies, a lack of proper equipment, often a crew will take orange tip guns and paint them black, yes not proper, safe or even ethical, and hence one person in charge of the weapons. This production went even more cheap for the laser weapons, carrying and using the blasters similar to those from Star Wars. Once more the acting, very bad, some adult movies have a better usage, the delivery is off, unsure when spoken if it’s a question or statement, the tone thoroughly has different infliction. The pacing and editing do not work correctly, the movie goes on for far too long, sometimes with pointless talking, as if unsure how to push the story forward or transition to the next scene. The gore factor near zero, visual effects quite silly in the form of laser blasts and disintegrating bodies, lacking blood splatter, and a laughable scene of plucking out one’s eye, unsure anyone involved kept a straight face during it.

SUMMARY FROM INVESTIGATOR:

Platoon of the Dead ranks up the ladder for the most boring movie I’ve watched this year, however a few beat it overall for the wretchedness, and when someone states this or that movie is the worst, just point them to the land of DOA, we’ve enjoy showing the abominations located in the forgotten grounds.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1199558/

IMDb Rating: 1.8/10

Baron’s Rating: 1.5/10