Usually, vampires are seductive, excluding the glitter ones, or they go the other extreme as bloodthirsty monsters, either case the monster stars in countless creations in horror cinema, now from directors and writers  Thomas Aske Berg and Fredrik Waldeland who make their debut with their offensive version. First, this is a Norwegian film (formal title VampyrVidar), hence a foreign flick with English subtitles, but also it combines the genres of horror and comedy, although it definitely and ultimately excels to offend many of Christian faith and yet amuses the nonbelievers, therefore viewers and readers of this reviewer be forewarned. In addition, Norway’s film office wanted nothing to do with this film, and filmmakers forced to self-finance the production, which some critics find as a negative however, many films become passion projects and in fact, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) from direct John McNaughton not favored by any cinema studios. This movie contains plenty of WTF moments, have one likely uttering not my type of movie, which I did myself a few times, yet pushed onward to finish the movie, distributed by Epic Pictures Releasing.

It starts with Vidar Harr (Thomas Aske Berg) wearing a sun repelling suit sitting in a cozy subdue office with a Psychologist (Kim Sonderholm, who starred many films include Sinister Visions [2013]) who tries not to laugh at his patient story and situation, in this opening learn everything technically need to know, however a good story to watch. Vidar who grew on a farm, a hard-dull life, humiliated by others, especially girls, with no romance, now 33-years old still living with his devoutly religious mother, rural farmer Vidar prays to God that he might finally receive sexual satisfaction from flesh, instead of from the pages of vintage Playboys such as a Baywatch Erika Eleniak. A nightmarish weird dream occurs of a naked woman with horns appears to him in a cave, representing a vagina tunnel, and images of Jesus. His pleas actually answered, by Jesus Christ (Brigt Skrettingland) himself appearing bathed in bright light inside the family barn, looks a tad different; he’s a vampire. The quoting of scripture, by the Jesus character and his representation, manipulated and twisted to fit the story’s viewpoint, considered by many as blasphemy.  However, now a WTF moment, Jesus compels Vidar to receive his body of Christ in a manner that involves swallowing something other than Holy Communion, the scene cuts to a seeing Jesus’ bare butt and looking between his highs of a scrotum swaying in Vidar’s face.  Soon afterwards, Vidar’s old body begins to die, a scene making fun of speaking in tongues Pastor Tor Magne Abrahamsen (Henrik Rafaelsen) arrives aiding in zero help, but it’s a hilarious moment. Vidar dies only to have some fun with the vampire genre from his coffin Nosferatu (1922)-style. Although, funny the following scene shows more insult and as Vidar’s resurrection to the level of the huge cross on the wall with his arms stretched out with represent of Jesus, well after all he’s in him more ways than one. Fret not the WTF far from over, with a scene mirror a scene that closely frames as Michelangelo’s Pieta referencing Jesus on his mother’s lap after the crucifixion, here shown as Vidar suckling on his mother’s breast before biting it off,  although Burial Ground (1981), still creepier with more perverted sickness. The often cuts back to the psychologist office, as the doctor learns of Vidar’s ‘condition’ and just gives kooky looks while he lives an unhappy life in Stavanger.

Jesus takes Vidar to introduce him to the new light of the world, passion of women and their blood, Christ get all the women, aided by his miracle trick of turning water into wine, and Vidar still gets nothing, rotten luck even as a vampire. Vidar, often wears his dirty overalls, accompanied with bad hair and thorough lack of social norms and class, almost a dirty old man, incapable of change, complete lack of social graces. Jesus gives him money, introduces him to prostitutes and even accompanies him to an addiction support group, as Vidar drowns in awkwardness, appears incapable of handling his new life of vampire, worst off than My Best Friend is a Vampire (1987). This isn’t the son of God we know from the Bible; he’s now out to sow his wild oats and live it up as a creature of the night think of Michael (1986) met John Milton of The Devil’s Advocate (1997. He goes to strip clubs (one across from a church), gets lap dances, and mentions how sad techno not around in the B.C. but gets one nether region throbbing. Jesus often quotes “I am the way…. no one comes to the Father….” to justify any actions he takes, even treating Vidar as a dog on a leash. A great moment comes in the form of Vidar attending an AA meeting, comparing his blood-drinking to their alcohol, and how Jesus’ love and free will corrupt him, hence question if Jesus and Lucifer not one in the same, as the grants temptations. This avenue to many is blasphemous, but in secular terms holds wonderful insight, both cast out of heaven, walked on earth, gathered sheep (people), using sins which impossible to avoid catching sinners.

The filmmakers capture wonderful scenery landscape shots, and centers on the hard-life of a farmer, a truly non-exciting world, yet excelling on the  microbudget.  Their cast does a fine performance of keeping the comedy forefront, through the offensive content, verbally and physically.  As well as stressing Vidar’s age of 33, as inverse praise for Jesus and his estimated age of death, in addition, while here in the United States some words shock and offend, such as f-bombs or the name used to describe women which highly offensive, in foreign countries its not. That word is C-word. That ‘word’ used often, credited to two different individuals in the cast, and where Vidar spends, time feeding. As for spending 5-years in production the visuals all seem fresh, as well the effects, but the deadpan humor delivers truly present very nicely.

One sometimes wonders what they just saw, the intent of the story or plot conveyance, while the movie contains many shock value scenes, striving for entertainment, the overall concept misses the mark. Unless the point is that the devil takes the place of Jesus, and to extend and corrupt the morals of everyone, by making sure he doesn’t exist and rather through deceit laying blame at Jesus, after all the devil knows the bible’s verses and chapters all too well.

For more information of where to get Vidar the Vampire go here:

IMDb Rating: 5.9

Baron’s Rating: 6.0