CHOMPFEAST 2024

Screenwriter Keith Shaw (The Thing Below [2004]) and director David Lister (Beauty and the Beast [2010]) worked with the Syfy channel who produced the production that was originally known as Mega Shark of Malibu which was the 19th film of the strange low-budget Maneater Series. The movie was released on DVD in 2011. The film uses similar elements from a lot of flicks, so it already sets up an interesting drinking game, first taking a cue from Up from the Depths [1979] with an underwater earthquake releasing prehistoric sharks known as “Goblin Sharks” which have large jaws, rows of jagged teeth and strangely bizarre. Now before you think it’s another made up species, it is not, rather a deep sea known to many as the Living Fossil which traces back a mere 125-million years.

While the creatures are coming to the surface, we meet some of the cast, first lifeguard Doug (Remi Broadway) and Jenny (Chelan Simmons (Tucker and Dale vs Evil [2010])) who is doing 100-hours of community service for a shoplifting charge. Then Bryan (Nicholas Cooper (Sleeper) [2012])) and Barb (Sonya Salomaa (House of the Dead [2003])) get engaged, informing the head-lifeguard Heather (Peta Wilson) of this Malibu beach by asking for some alone time, which is granted. Chavez (Warren Christie (Apollo 18 [2011])), Heather’s ex-boyfriend goes to confront her new boyfriend and builder Colin (Jeffery Gannon (Niflheim: Blood & Bullets [2009])) who’s project is blocking beachgoers. As the shark munches and chomps on the divers and paragliders, warning is issued for a tsunami, now it’s time to forget every ounce of logic, reasoning, as the believability will vanish momentarily. Doug is informed to get everyone to the parking lot – yet the beach is not far from the lot – oh wait I’m using my brain again. One needs to turn that off for the remainder of the film. In addition to that Heather falls in the water, but the nearby hungry don’t bother with her, they wait for director Lister to repeat the same CGI shot. Of course, Chavez rescues her in the nick of time. It’s taking a lot of time for this massive wave to strike, the dozen or so extras, oops I mean beachgoers are running, but in various directions, while Colin and his crew pack up equipment, and refuse to leave the jobsite. After the 100-foot wave hits the coasts, we are showed pictures of stock footage of flooded neighborhoods that look nothing life Malibu, as well-dressed news reporter reports in the devastation, leveling and flooding buildings except the stilt construction lifeguard station, a little water but it withstood the pounding.

Everyone is safe as they hid under counters and in corners near a glass door, nothing shattered, some strong, wooden shutters – amazing. The entire area is under 30 feet of water, so how did the news crew get there? Wait stop thinking. There are portions of the beach that show destruction, but no flooding how is that possible, all while Colin and his faithful rode the killer wave at a construction site. One of the workers Yancey (Renee Bowen) decides to make a swim for it, and is devoured by sharks, who haven’t traveled too far inland as they feed on the remaining characters, such as Barb and later Bryan sacrifices himself as well as George (Mungo McKay (Daybreakers [2009])), and Karl (Evert McQueen). It becomes a smorgasbord all for chompfest!

The beach Heather and her team watch over is only for the beautiful people and two young boys with blow up orange shark and an orca floaties; everyone else is under thirty well defined. It does contain a hint of threat scenario by presenting the dorsal fin often to attempt shivers; but ultimately fails to develop it correctly. What made Jaws so incredible is we don’t see the shark until late in the third act, here they are present often and continue to look silly with the CGI representation. While the kill count is high, the gore is low and no one is seen being killed by the tsunami wave, the absence of death and destruction clearly show lack of vision and/or budget. Another letdown is truly how many times could a viewer see the same special effects of goblin sharks swimming with their mouth agape.
The film suffers in so many ways the lack of tension is terrible, it never builds correctly, we the viewers just watch aimlessly at the images on the screen. It is a slightly original concept, but lacks a larger financial backing ruins the opportunity to show a lot more to the audience. The film Bait [2012] takes the tsunami wave and truly exploits and explores it fuller, with sharks invading inland, and equally the devastation of nature’s wrath. Therefore, save your time and avoid this shark flick, as it cannot provide the right viciousness to anyone who might be watching it.

TAGLINES:

• Terror Has New Teeth
• The Tsunami was just the beginning of the terror

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1478325/

IMDb Rating: 3.1/10

Baron’s Rating: 2.5/10